Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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