Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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