Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
