I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
