so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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