One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
