So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
