do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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