How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
