i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
