this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
