there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
