Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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