Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
