My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
