gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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