I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
