so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
