I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Farmville is her only friend.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
