Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
