Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
