I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
