If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
