were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
