Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
