I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You pole danced in your parka.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
