she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
