Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
