He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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