I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just puked most of my soul out..
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
