Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
ttyl tear gas
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize