No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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