ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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