He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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