Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
