You don't have asthma, your pregnant
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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