..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
