Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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