Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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