I wish I could punch you in the face.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
