that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
