ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Randomize
