addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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