i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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