I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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