im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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