"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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