Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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