Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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