I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
